I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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