I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
