there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
