who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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