I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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