he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.