Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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