I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
