I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
