she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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