Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
