he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just want nice things and good sex
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
