then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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