I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize