she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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