You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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