There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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