Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize