you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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