dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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