I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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