they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
