Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
