and you said cock pushups were impossible
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
