That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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