So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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She bit a glass in half.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
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I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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