You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
