She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
