so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
