we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
