He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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