Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
as a side note pls kill me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
