I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
