So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
