Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
