brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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