you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
