When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
