So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
