she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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