need another drink. this is the easiest way
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
