I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
