He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
