i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
