just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
