there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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