I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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