Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
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