it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
