Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
