no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Are we still banned from the library?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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