I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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