I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
