Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
