Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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