so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
