I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
